Shame is a strong force in our lives. It is a motivator like no other. It makes you want to do something better, to be better, to changed behavior, but in reality it brings you back to the problem repeating the same behavior. Shame leads to guilt and guilt leads to self loathing which brings you to self destructive behaviors that make you feel better.

Now this can be the extremes like doing drugs and self harm, but it can also be over indulging in your physical appearance. We are shamed into a plethora of behaviors and social norms some are based off the best intentions but shame should not be the motivating factor.

You have to make the changes you need because you need and want to. Stop taking external criticism as negative motivation. Think about the person you want to be. Think about what makes you happy and how you can live a life to achieve that. This should not be based on what the people around you or the society says is best for you. You are the only one who knows who it is you want to be and that is just who you should be!