I just finished a very interesting conversation with a friend of mine about whether or not it was appropriate to let her two-year-old play in the garage. She’s asked on social media and other places and people don’t really have an answer. And really after discussing it it came back to the same old topic round these parts, experience.
What kind of experiences have you had with your child in the garage in the past and what kind of experience are they having right now in the garage all by themselves?
And her house the garage is a place where the children frequent regularly. It is set up so that for the most part it is child safe and the children are aware of things that are dangerous. And therefore based on her experience the garage is a safe place for a 2 year olds to be left unattended.
Before I moved to the city I would allow my children to play outside by themselves. Even though I lived on the highway I wasn’t worried about them running into the street. We spent a lot of time outside together and therefore they knew where their boundaries were and even now that we live in the city I allow them to ride their bikes up and down the cul-de-sac as long as they are together. It is all about an experience and the things you have done and have taught your child.
This leads to a really important topic that comes up a lot when we start comparing our children. Everybody says you should never compare your children and here is the reason why. Each child experiences a different life and therefore has different experiences to build their world on. This is yet another reason why each one of us is unique.
If you want your children to be more worldly let them experience the world. If you want your children to be more responsible give them more responsibility. If you want your children to be more creative give them new ways to create art and express themselves. We are the creators of their environment and provide them with the experiences that used to create a lifetime of knowledge.
Bedtime can turn into a dreaded part of the day. Kids often find every way possible to get out of going to sleep.
Just as with almost everything in parenting it is all about consistency.
Create a routine and carry it out everyday. Bath, PJ’s, brush teeth, read a book, go to bed is a pretty standard, but create something that works for you and stick to it!
Finally the Nanny 911 show said it best! Put them to bed, help them back with words the first time and then every time after that simply walk them back to bed. Try not to say anything. It sounds so easy and if you stick to it it will be!
When we bring a child into the world we have so many ideas, plans, and expectations. Some of which are well-planned researched ideas, others not so much. How many of those expectations are expectations you have for yourself and who you want to be?
Many parents unintentionally find their children to be an extension of themselves, a mini me. They do everything they can to create the person who is exactly who they wish themselves to be.
The reality is that your child is a beautiful unique person born with their own temperament and quickly creating their own ideas about what they like and who they are. We as parents have the responsibility to allow them to be who they are and accept them as that. This allows them to truly reach their full potential.
This does not mean you let them do whatever they want. It is your responsibility to establish boundaries and teach them to respect themselves, others, and their environment. All while letting them be who they want to be. Talking with them, not at them. Listening to their ideas and opinions and encouraging them to make the best choices for them!
Some life lessons seem to get all the attention. While others are overlooked and sometimes even intentionally ignored. Often excuses like we’ll teach them later, they’re too young, won’t they get that in school, and so many more.
Today let’s talk about one of the most important boundaries all children need to learn respect, their bodies boundaries.
Here are the important things to remember when teaching your kids about their vaginas, penises, and saying no.
Yes I said it, the big private words. Most grown-ups still blush a little at these words. Let’s all say them together: Vagina. Penis. Breasts.
It used to be stranger danger, which was a major backfire because it is not likely that children will be assaulted by a stranger. This scare tactic avoided the whole issue and encouraged several generations of sexual abuse. The best way to protect your children is to teach them.
First and foremost using words like Winky, hehe, lady Parts, little worm, PP, doodle, TT, meanie, and so much more I mean you can find many forums across the internet discussing names and often come across the statement it sounds so much nicer than vagina. Your elbow is an elbow your knee is a knee, your arm is in arm and your vagina or penis well that’s what they are. By using nicknames, many of which are counterintuitive to a healthy sexual outlook Twinkie worm really what is that teaching your child about their genitals.
The other important thing using appropriate names teachers is proper communication about their genitals. I often remind my children that your penis is no one’s business. It is as simple it is that, No Stranger Danger no uncomfortable talks explaining or over explaining the evil nature of some people. Just a simple your vagina is no one’s business. It also makes it easier to talk about proper hygiene. Just like you make sure they wash behind their ears and brush their teeth you can talk about washing their butt and genitals. They do not have to take on some hidden special meaning snickered at and avoided but another important body part that is to be kept clean and is no one else’s business.
Well with that said the second important lesson to learn is No means no and if they say no to a hug, a kiss or affection it really means no. This lesson goes both ways. When someone tells them no they respect that and when say no it is respected. That boundary needs to be established. We as grown-ups often get caught up in the cute faces and squirming of cousins forced to hug goodbye but really what is that teaching? It’s okay to hug someone who said no and when I say no it’s okay if they don’t listen. It seems cute in that moment but we are also teaching disrespect.
And that’s it! Use appropriate language and teach them to respect personal boundaries. So say it with me vagina, penis, breast are no one’s business and no means no.
Most parents are looking for that one thing that will make parenting easier, less stressful, and that joyous experience we all thought it could be. The best advice you could follow is consistent consistency.
Each family will have different rules and boundaries. You need to create the rules and guidelines that fit your home and parenting style. A few important things to keep in mind when creating rules:
all the children have the same rules. There are rules that you age out of and into but as you age all of the children get the same rules.
The rules teach respect
The rules are the rules all the time.
Even if you have to put the rules on the wall for everyone to remember the most important thing is that you keep the rules all the time. When you say no it really means it and don’t back down. Children are like sharks and can smell fear in the water. If they think you will give in they will try. If you say no, they scream, and you changed your answer to a yes they will remember. They will test you and they know they can win. They will play dirty, embarrass you in the store, and scream in your face until they get what they want if they think you will give in. They will cry, guilt and even hold their breath if they have to in order to get the response they want. Kids are amazingly smart and at a very young age will find just that perfect retaliation to get everything they want. If you gave in last time and the time before that they will try harder if need be.
Take a breath and remind yourself every time you give in they will go one step farther next time to ensure they win. If you are consistent all the time they will know no means no, bedtime is bedtime, and no toys in the grocery store.
Your baby’s brain is developing faster than it ever will throughout life. It is now that they are building the neuro pathways that will help them learn for the rest of their life. The best way to give them a great start is talking to them. And I mean really talking with them not just at them.
Talk about what you’re doing. What you are feeding them, what they’re wearing, and everything. Talk about your feelings and their feelings. Talk about the sky, the grass, and everything in between. Use big words, real words and if you know them even different languages. Baby words are not your friends but synonyms are. Say too and also. Describe everything and all the details. Read to them sing to them and show them the magic of language.
It’s a big step in life for both parents and children.
Potty training is just as much about training parents as the kids. And just like everything else it’s all about consistency. Let me give you a few tricks I’ve acquired after working in a toddler preschool room for over 10 years potty training hundreds of two-year-olds plus three of my own at home.
1)Make a commitment. Either you are potty training or you are not. You cannot potty train on Tuesdays but not on Saturdays and Sundays.
2) Pull-ups are a tool old to be used only when needed. Bedtime, napping, car seats, and extra busy days out of the house are good days to use them, but to use them everyday is not helpful to the overall process. Really they feel no different then a diaper to the kiddos.
3) Potty training goes fastest when they can really see the cause and effect. This means that either as close to naked as comfortable or jeans. You want them to notice that they are going and it to be different from when they went in the diaper.
4) Talk about it and adopt an open door policy. Tell them when you’re going. Talk to them about the potty dance. Remind them to go and keep the bathroom a comfortable place for them to be.
6) Don’t get discouraged when it doesn’t go perfect. Just a few more small things
set a timer and have them try every time it goes off
keep things light. If it becomes stressful, a chore, a fight, or a negative situation they will not want to do it and you will regress in potty training.
Try tricks like singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, counting to 10, or listing the colors of the rainbow while they are sitting on the toilet so they relax.
Make sure they are comfortable sitting on the toilet seat. Flat feet and knees at a 90 degree angle.
5) Make it a habit to go during transitions. Before and after you eat, before leaving, after cleaning up Etc.
As a final note there are some things to avoid
Don’t give it weird names, pee poop and if you must number one and number two are perfect. There is no need to make a game out of the situation or confuse them.
Don’t use candy or toys as a reward when they go. Your rewards for going potty in the toilet are no more diapers and being a big kid. Sing a song, cheer, clap, and shout hooray but avoid giving a physical reward.
Do not punish for accidents. Fear is not your friend when it comes to potty training and you do not want to turn potty training into a battle for control.
Above everything else be consistent!
Good luck and just think of life with no diapers 🙂 you can do this!
Okay well it sounds good, but so do gumdrops and milkshakes. Feeding and eating with your kids can be amazing and it can be incredibly frustrating. You want your kids to eat right grow strong and smart, but in the actual application it is not that easy. Just to start there are numerous opinions all telling you something different. Breastfeeding, formula, scheduling, to wake or not wake, and when do you feed the baby and what. Then when it comes to table foods the options and opinions multiply. Even different doctors have different opinions.
It’s not rocket science, it’s just food why does it have to be so hard?
Well it doesn’t have to be. Just keep it simple!
Here are some tips to help you enjoy building a lifetime of healthy eating habits with your kids
1. Breast is best. Not only is it how we have evolved as a species, it is biologically designed to meet the needs of your new baby but it’s free.
2. Babies will eat when they are hungry. Relax and take time to learn their hungry cues. Some are biological like turning the head to suckle when their cheek is brushed. Others are characteristic of your child maybe they coo just so, or they suck their fists they will have a way to tell you.
3. Eat with them. Even as a small baby they are watching and learning. Watching their parents enjoy eating and eating a varied diet teaches babies it’s okay and fun to eat, and try new foods. As they grow they will ask to eat what you’re eating for their first tries at table food. Once they are older, eating together is so important for so many aspects of development it is just a great habit to start early.
4. It can take over 20 times of trying something before you really like it. Sweet things go down smoother most of the time but other foods don’t necessarily. Don’t get discouraged the first time they spit it out and don’t eat it. Just keep offering.
5. Kids will not starve themselves. It’s hard to watch your kid be hungry especially when you know a cracker would solve everything, but I promise that they are not the answer. Remind yourself as you begin to cave that you are creating your child’s future eating habits. The battle of “I want a cracker” has a twofold consequence. One you are creating eating patterns that last a lifetime. Snacks should not always be the answer to hunger. The second consequence is showing them that you will give in when they push. They will remember this the next time they want something.
6. Divide the responsibilities of eating. You let them decide how much they eat, you decide what they eat. They feel in control because they decide how much food they eat, but are still ensuring they are getting nutritious foods and not stuck on crackers cheesy noodles and chicken nuggets. Remember they won’t starve. They might eat a big breakfast because they didn’t eat much dinner but they won’t starve.
7. Eat the rainbow each day, each week, with each meal. Include as many natural colors as possible. This brings in more nutrients and creates a healthy palate for a lifetime of healthy eating.
8. Make a schedule and stick to it. I’ll make this easy:
Breakfast when they wake up
about two and a half hours later eat a snack
about 2 and 1/2 hours later lunch
3 hours later snack
3 hours later dinner
and if your day starts extra early you might need an extra snack in the evening.
9. Think fruits, cheese, nuts, veggies, and yogurt for snacks and again eat a rainbow.
10. Most of all enjoy eating. Teach them of The joy of eating, trying new foods is fun, and indulgence is ok when done as an Indulgence. Eating is a wonderful part of life and when we grow up learning of the joy, we are less likely to have negative diet patterns as adults.
11. Learning to eat is a sensory experience. Many parents get caught up in how messy eating is. They worry babies are not getting enough food in their belly, and there is food everywhere. It’s all part of the process. Stress not and let them play eat and enjoy. They will get enough the messes are cleanable. Yes they love rubbing mashed potatoes in their hair. We don’t know why but they all do it. If you stress and get upset they stress. If they are punished by removing the food they were enjoying they learn to associate negative feelings with food. Allow them to enjoy their food. Give them the spoon to hold while they eat with their other hand. Let them take their time and practice. They are also learning fine motor skills and what peas feel like versus chicken.
Raising children is all about keeping them safe, teaching them about life, and helping them grow up to be decent people. As little ones they learn all about their world using all their senses especially touch. They want to touch everything and not just touch it but really feel it.
Squish it! Splash it! Play with it and that’s important!
They are developing new nerve connections throughout the brain and from the brain to the body. They are learning so much from cold, wet, hard, and squishy; to being comfortable exploring their environment.
They learn what is dangerous, what tastes good, and what breaks. They are also learning secondary senses like boundaries. What am I allowed to explore and when. They learn what to touch and when they can explore.
Proper boundaries and consistent reassurance of what they can and cannot touch, teaches them a foundation for the future of boundaries. They learn how far they can push their boundaries and when and where they can get away with things. All through their innate curiosity to touch anything they can touch.
Another important touching lesson is eating. Experiencing our food with all five senses is an important part of development, and creating a healthy outlook on food. Letting them use their own spoon and explore their own food freely, they learn to enjoy eating and build a positive food relationship. They are also learning fine motor skills. Pinching the Cheerios bringing, the spoon to their mouth, and wiping their own face our great activities for practicing fine motor skills that are important for writing and self-care as they get older.
Finally, as they get older getting dirty is an important part of experiencing childhood. Playing outside, painting, baking, and all the wonderful messes we make while we play teaches kids problem solving and encourages curiosity. They build experiences that can encourage them to grow up to great heights. Astronauts, chefs, doctors, architects, and scientists all started as kids encouraged and allowed to explore.
Get messy with them…well at least let them get messy and have fun!
