Some life lessons seem to get all the attention.  While others are overlooked and sometimes even intentionally ignored. Often excuses like we’ll teach them later, they’re too young, won’t they get that in school, and so many more.

Today let’s talk about one of the most important boundaries all children need to learn respect, their bodies boundaries.

Here are the important things to remember when teaching your kids about their vaginas, penises, and saying no.

Yes I said it, the big private words. Most grown-ups still blush a little at these words. Let’s all say them together: Vagina. Penis. Breasts.

It used to be stranger danger, which was a major backfire because it is not likely that children will be assaulted by a stranger. This scare tactic avoided the whole issue and encouraged several generations of sexual abuse. The best way to protect your children is to teach them.  

First and foremost using words like Winky, hehe, lady Parts, little worm, PP, doodle, TT, meanie, and so much more I mean you can find many forums across the internet discussing names and often come across the statement it sounds so much nicer than vagina. Your elbow is an elbow your knee is a knee, your arm is in arm and your vagina or penis well that’s what they are. By using nicknames, many of which are counterintuitive to a healthy sexual outlook Twinkie worm really what is that teaching your child about their genitals.

The other important thing using appropriate names teachers is proper communication about their genitals. I often remind my children that your penis is no one’s business.  It is as simple it is that, No Stranger Danger no uncomfortable talks explaining or over explaining the evil nature of some people. Just a simple your vagina is no one’s business. It also makes it easier to talk about proper hygiene. Just like you make sure they wash behind their ears and brush their teeth you can talk about washing their butt and genitals. They do not have to take on some hidden special meaning snickered at and avoided but another important body part that is to be kept clean and is no one else’s business.

Well with that said the second important lesson to learn is No means no and if they say no to a hug, a kiss or affection it really means no. This lesson goes both ways.  When someone tells them no they respect that and when say no it is respected. That boundary needs to be established. We as grown-ups often get caught up in the cute faces and squirming of cousins forced to hug goodbye but really what is that teaching? It’s okay to hug someone who said no and when I say no it’s okay if they don’t listen. It seems cute in that moment but we are also teaching disrespect.  

And that’s it! Use appropriate language and teach them to respect personal boundaries.  So say it with me vagina, penis, breast are no one’s business and no means no.

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